$184 Million Dollars.

 

That's the amount a Jets fans is suing the Patriots for on behalf of Jets season-ticket holders. As a Jets season-ticket holder himself (my condolences...) Mr. Carl Mayer is unhappy because the Patriots were caught illegally videotaping the Jets’ defensive signals in New England’s 38-14 season-opening pasting of the Jets. His lawyer chimes in 'They violated the integrity of the game,' said Mayer’s attorney, Bruce Afran. 'This is a way of punishing Belichick and the Patriots'.

 

The pair decided that because other teams spoke up about past incidents with the Patriots that they would base their lawsuit from the time Belichick became the Pats coach back in 2000. Therefore they came to the amount of $184 million by calculating that because customers paid $61.6 million to watch eight "fraudulent” games, they’re entitled to triple that amount - or $184.8 million - in compensation under the federal Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization Act and the New Jersey Consumer Fraud Act.

 

The article got the Man and I to thinking about some other people who should be sued:

 

- The first name on this list has GOT to be one Mr. Barry Bonds*. I should sue him for the reason that I couldn't open a newspaper or turn on the TV without hearing about his bogus homerun record - a record that came on behalf of a needle. Talk about a loss of integrity.

 

- Speaking of homeruns, Mark McGwire has been suspiciously out of sight in the past year or so. I feel bad for the sap that purchased his record breaking (and juice-filled) ball for $3 million - I might sue Mark on his behalf.

 

- Floyd Landis just lost his doping case last week, and the 2006 Tour de France title is no longer his. When I was a child I enjoyed riding my bike, and as I have that in common with Landis I should sue him for 'Loss of Common Practice Enjoyment'. Is that a legal term? HELL no, but I'll find a lawyer who will make it work.

 

Other people on my To Be Sued list:

 

- the East German athletes from all those years ago for ruining the innocent Olympic fun I was enjoying as a young 'un

 

- the gambling NBA ref Tim Donaghy...but I wouldn't sue for myself (not an NBA fan) I would sue on behalf of his kids for having to grow up in his tainted shadow

 

- moving from sports to music - yeah- I'm totally suing Milli Vanilli. Nowadays lip-syncing is an old story, but back then? Oh the horror!

 

- from music to TV...the Springer show - because I really felt sad everytime a midget-stripper's husband cheated on her with his regular size tranny cousin. I mean, you're telling me that was scripted? That's BULLshit. And I'm suing.

 

I think ya'll get the picture here.

 

Who would you sue?

 

Yes folks, the new season of Dancing with the Stars* is upon us!

 

 

The Man had a sleep test last night, so after bidding him farewell I powered up the TV and clicked for our DVR recordings, then scrolled all the way back to Monday's premiere of Dancing With the Stars. The Man is not a fan of that show, and I was happy to have all three episodes to myself.

 

There are some pretty good celebs on this round, and by pretty good I mean no one that I hate as much as I hated Heather Mills from the last season. HATE HER! But that's a rant for another day. This season we have Jennie Garth, Jane Seymour, some chick from the Cheetah Girls (who the fuck are they?), Scary Spice, Marie Osmond, some Sports Illustrated chick, a guy model, a guy soap star, boxer Floyd Mayweather, Wayne Newton, Mark Cuban, some Indy racer, and maybe one more dude. When I heard the line up I figured I would root against Floyd - he's a cocky son of a bitch, and also Scary Spice - due to all the press with her and Eddie Murphy, and the baby, and her quickie wedding to some dude...etc. However when I watched the shows I was suprised to like everyone. Floyd did toss some whiny attitude to his pro dancer, but she walked out on him, he quickly self-corrected, she came back and he seemed genuinely excited during his first dance. Scary Spice definitely has some 'tude going on, but she was cracking me up so I have nothing against her.

 

Some random notes on the new season:

 

~ Cheryl (pro dancer) should really keep her hair short and spunky, she's not a long-hair girl.

 

~ I've never been able to stand the girl host (who's out after having a baby), but after watching Drew Lachey co-host I'm forced to realize that I would hate anyone who stands with a mic in the back room and forces us to vote. It's annoying. That said I still don't miss the girl host.

 

~ Back to Cheryl, do you think she's secretly pissed to have the 'old guy' this round? Of course that 'old guy' is Mr. Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton, and I mean NO disrespect at ALL - but she has to scale back the dances so much, and as loved as he is I don't think he'll get her to her third win on this show...eventually the other celeb guys will pass him.

 

~ Speaking of the celeb guys...um...model-guy and soap actor-guy? *DROOLING* Please America, keep these tasties on the show! *SLURP*

 

~ Mark Cuban looked PISSED to be in the bottom two, don't you think?

 

~ Once again, I can only tolerate this show on DVR, if I had to choose between suffering through it live or strolling a mall naked I'd go nude in a second...this show has so much filler material it's ridiculous!

 

Any fans of the show out there? *coughAMANDAcough* Let me know what you think of the new season!

 

 

We saw a video on the news the other night of an incident between you and a woman named Heidi Gill.

 

You know what I'm talking about, the incident where you tasered her SEVEN FUCKING TIMES.

 

A quick summary for those who are unaware:

 

I know a story is only as good as both sides, so I'll try to be neutral. Drunk woman, disturbance in a bar. Cops are called to take care of the situation. Fine. Officer Richy shows up, finds this drunk woman who, like most drunks, is probably mouthing off and yelling - you know, the type of behavior that would fall under the word 'disturbance'. So what does Officer Richy do? According to various reports he orders her to behave, shut up, get in the car, etc.

 

Good job Richy, because drunks, of all people, are bound to snap their mouth shut and follow orders. In fact the person who coined the phrase 'Drunk and Disorderly' had it all wrong. That's right. 

 

What are some options Officer Richy could have used to control the situation? Oh, I don't know, suck in his fat gut and maybe force her arms behind her for the cuffs? Subdue her on the ground and cuff her? Enlist the help of a partner? Those are good options. Unfortunately you chose differently.

 

You pulled out your taser and laid it on her SEVEN FUCKING TIMES. You tasered her as she was standing, causing her to shriek and flail at the pain of the shock. You continued to tase her, and she stumbled, still shrieking, and smacked her head against a car fender as she fell. And yet you continued to tase her as she was on the ground. The next shot we see (and please, feel free to hunt down on YouTube what your dash-cam recorded) she is in the back of your cruiser, cuffed, in pain, STILL DRUNK and starts banging her feet on your window, eventually breaking it.

 

Was that wrong of her? Yeah. Was she drunk? Yeah. Was she in pain and probably scared for her life? Um, YEAH.

 

How do you respond to the window breaking? You open the door and TASER HER AGAIN. While she's FUCKING HANDCUFFED! You then order her to exit your cruiser and walk to another one. Do you reach for her arm to help her as she staggers in pain and her blitzed state? No.

 

Instead, for reasons unexplained, you TASER her for the last time. Why the last time? Because this time she falls, smacks her head on the pavement and is rendered unconcious.

 

That, apparently, is when you decide to put the taser away.

 

I was so disgusted when I saw this on the news, and even more pissed when it looked like the story would go away. So imagine my glee to see Heidi and her lawyer on the Early Show this morning. I watched her explain how she now has blurry vision. I listened to her describe that night, and how Richy quickly turned from an officer trying to subdue her to a man attacking her as she fought to escape the torture. Has she been instructed to seem soft-spoken by her lawyers? Sure, no doubt there. Unfortunately for you, Richy, many more people will side with her than yourself.

 

I think what bothers me the most when I watch the video is your demeanor during the incident. As you tase her in the beginning you're just standing there, with one arm holding the taser and the other relaxed at your side. You could be watching your dog take a crap you're so calm. Instead you're watching another human being react to the pain you're causing.

 

I asked the Man if he could remain in a relationship if his significant other did something like that. He shook his head, and said 'I would be so ashamed, but I don't know'. I don't know if you're married or not, Rich Kovach. I'm not sure if there's a mortified woman somewhere trying to justify your actions to herself and her family.

 

I've searched but I've yet to find any statement on your behalf. I know you boys in blue stick together. I also know that for every cop abusing his power there's many more out there who aren't.

 

As of today you're on paid leave. Which is good for the people of Warren, OH.

 

You twisted prick.

 

 

 

 

Happy Sunday!

 

I put up some pictures of Provincetown (tip of Cape Cod) from the day after our reception. It was a dreary-ish chilly day, but we were there with friends and had a great time. My mouth is watering just thinking of the steaming clam chowder in a bread bowl that we had...yummmm!

 

My Patriots dominated again today...they look so strong and unbeatable, but I will adapt the team's attitude and look forward to one game at a time. But still...they're ridiculous right now!

 

As for the Red Sox - they clinched a playoff spot yesterday- woohoo! Baseball in October, my favorite. Of course the division title is still up for grabs with the Yankees on our heels, I guess we'll see how it plays out, but I really want the division as well. Greedy, I know.

 

But enough about sports. I've been all sorts of sleepy and lacking energy. I do have a couple loads of laundry spinning around, so that's some sort of progress.

 

I worked out yesterday, I've been keeping up with it, and my weight this morning was 125. Woo! I hover around 127, but if I reallly concentrate I can hover around 124. It takes discipline though...and I'm craving some junk food BAD.

 

I was going to work out today, but I'm just not 'feeling it', so I've been window shopping online...surfing the sales at Banana and Gap.com. Also Old Navy. They all have some cute summer stuff on clearance. I love filling up my shopping cart, but I haven't clicked any purchase button yet. Just not 'feeling it'.

 

We ordered salads in for dinner, but I'm also not feeling that. Problem is I have no appetite for anything particular...hate that. Once I dig in I'll want it I suppose.

 

All of this 'not feeling it' really means one thing. Oh yeah. It's my week to ride the cotton pony.

 

Blah.

 

GO PATS!

 

 

So, yesterday I come home from work and go upstairs to greet the birds. Usually Red comes right to the door to say hi, but she was busy scrounging around in her corner, fussing with her egg (yes, she's still working it). So I lean down and tap her food dish to get her attention, and as she raises her head to look at me I notice it.

 

A second egg.

 

Crap.

 

I call the Man upstairs and we decide to take both eggs out of the cage. He distracts her with a roll of paper towels as I scoop out the eggs. Predictably she's pissed, but that's the way it goes. Nursing one egg is one thing, but creating an egg family is another.

 

I tossed the eggs and hung with Red for awhile before putting her back in her cage. She nosed around the papers a little bit but seemed fine. This morning she came out to say hi when I brought breakfast, and tonight after work I dragged out some new and old favorite toys for her. She has a blender that plays music when she taps the buttons. She LOVES it, so I put it back in and left the room to the sounds of her happily attacking it to get the sound out.

 

We're figuring she'll lay another egg, but I hope to distract her enough that she doesn't.

 

As for the other two...I was putting laundry away the other night and talking back and forth with our Grey who was in their room. After he worked himself up he started doing the 'ooo ooo' chant that you hear in clubs. So I went in and 'ooo ooo-ed' with him while clapping my hands and little Yellow bird, feeling the groove, started rocking back and forth. Red just stared from her corner. She's been known to rock out...but it's rare.

 

And for Ronna - yes, they will chew and tear paper all day long. I scrunch it up and twist it through the bars of their cages then watch them battle it. Little yellow LOVES the cardboard roll from the middle of the paper towels...that keeps him busy all night.

 

 

So, let's see...where do I find myself this fine Tuesday morning.

 

A) Work project, to be completed today, hopefully by noon...although as will happen with new things there are tweaks and glitches...but that's life.

 

B) Bachlorette nonsense. There was an email yesterday from one of the PICOI - stating that there is now no bus, we are meeting here, and doing these things, and please say yay or nay. The bride is in work today, she does not seem to stressed or aggravated, and I think Sat. will be a good time.

 

C) Patriots. Oh my, they came in to play on Sunday night and BEAT THE TAR out of San Diego. It was thrilling to watch, the players were PUMPED to win this game...they rocked it! The owner of the Pats, Kraft, had a small sit down interview during halftime...and as I had suspected he knew nothing about the spying, and said that it will never happen again. If you know this guy you know that he is full of pride and loves a clean reputation- so this must have hit him hard. We'll never know what he really said to Belichick, but if the coach pulls something like this again it will be interesting to see what Kraft does.

 

...and lastly - the weather has made a turn and the mornings are cold! I welcome the brisk air and warmer clothing, but now officially starts the morning debate between me and my closet:

 

When to make the change between summer shoes and closed-in winter shoes?

 

 

It's about 10:20pm.

 

I'm halfway through my second beer.

 

The Sox/Yankees game is in full swing, 6th inning, Sox leading 6-2.

 

I've had an annoying week, for the following three reasons (in no particular order):

 

1) We have a new database at work, it was live a couple of weeks ago, and my co-worker and I (a team on this project) have been busting our tushies jamming contracts into it. The deadline was today, my normal day off, and I spent ten hours working on it (from home). I also worked on it from 8pm-2am last night (I was in a groove, and I'm a natural night-owl). I'm tired, and my right leg is all numb and achy from working on the couch with bad posture. It's annoying because I probably could have done more on this project at the beginning of this week, but we had meetings, and there was other stuff to be taken care of...blah...etc...the end.

 

2) I have a bachlorette party coming up. I'm a work friend, and not part of the inner friend circle. The people in charge of it (PICOI's) sent an email out last week 'Here is the plan, party bus/dinner/bars, are you in?', and people responded. The PICOI then sent a second email out 'We'd like to confirm who is on the bus, please let us know', and people responded - most the way I did - with a 'Sure, what is the price pp?' to receive an answer of 'Once we have the final number we'll let you know'. Okay. The limos I've been on are usually $50-70 pp so I had a rough budget idea for the night - maybe $2-275.

 

So this week all hell breaks loose, and I'll try to break it down without boring the life out of you. Basically a friend of the bride found out (from who? don't know) that the limo was upwards of $110-130 pp, and being a MORON she called the bride to say 'Do you know about the limo?' to which the bride, knowing only that there was a limo-plan said 'yes'. The friend continued with 'it's going to be x amount of money, I don't have it, so I have to back out' to which the bride got understandably upset/stressed/embarrassed. Long story short the price quickly leaked, and people realizing that expensive limo ride + dinner/drinks + more drinks = a $3-400 night, started to back out of the bus.

 

With that crap out in the open twelve women hit email and the saga started. The PICOI said 'we've cancelled the bus due to people backing out, with the people remaining the price was too high - we'll see you at the restaurant'. Then people emailed 'let's still get a bus, but there are cheaper options, see? Here are some options' to which the PICOI got testy (what with their planner-toes being stepped on and all *sigh*) and said 'we've already lost a non-refundable deposit on the cancelled bus, but maybe we can get that bus back'.

 

Does anyone see a circle of nonsense forming? Yeah, thought so.

 

It culminated in frustration today, with a few people getting WICKED snide (instead of embracing the options they were like 'you run it then'), and yours truly calling them out on it. I'm not a confrontational person by nature, but after a few days of watching people murder what should be a relatively easy planning process I was All Fucking Set. Especially when I listen to you CONTINUALLY whine about your lost deposit. You know what? You didn't cover your bases. Suck it up. The result of this? Many pissed people, one stressed bride and no solid plans.

 

3) Anyone catch a small football-cheating story this week? My Patriots were caught stealing defensive signals, they've been fined and had a number one draft pick removed. They're also feeling the wrath from around the league. I find myself swinging between the following:

 

Thoughts of an aggravated fan: We have SO MUCH talent on this team that the cheating is unnecessary, which disappoints me. I love my Patriots-fan swagger, and now I have to take that down a notch. The articles of 'that's how they won those playoff games' and 'let's get the asterix pen out' and 'how Barry Bonds of them' are REALLY getting me down this week. Lastly, my In Bill We Trust call in admiration of our genius and un-fussy coach has been silenced as he has morphed into some other sort of person altogether. And I'm still waiting for a comment from the owner, Kraft.

 

Thoughts of a cocky fan: Cheating is an old story. Would we care so much if the Detroit Lions got caught? Uh, NO! We're at the top, people hate that and everyone is jumping on this bandwagon with huge smiles. The camera was found in the beginning of the Jets game - they never used it - which means we ROLLED them, and we will continue to ROLL all season. Are you wondering about past games? I'll quote something I saw in an article this week: 'You may have the answers to the test, but you still have to take the test'. We did. And passed. 

 

To say I am pumped for the game on Sunday night is a massive understatement. There were already enough stories surrounding it, this just fuels it up even more.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me there's an aggravating baseball team that needs my attention. To add to my annoyance in the time I've taken to write this the Sox are now losing by 1 in the 8th inning.

 

ANNOYING!

 

**UPDATE** The Sox blew a five run lead and lost the game. Awesome. We're 15 games away from the playoffs, we've been in first place the whole season, and you blow this game? Against the team that is four games behind you? Really??

 

 

 

Can you believe it's been six years since 9/11 became more than just numbers on a calendar?

 

Neither can I.  

 

We're dwindling down to the end of the 4th quarter in today's Pats v. Jets game...and to say the least my Pats have rocked my world big time. Moss scored his first Patriot TD with a dreamy catch from Brady, as did Wes Welker. Brady looks like he's waiting for a bus he has so much time in the pocket. We've also made history in this game with Hobbs scoring a TD on a 108 yard return. Fabulous stuff. 

 

Next week: the Chargers. Are they still smarting from that thrilling playoff game last year? I'm sure.

 

Moving from shoulder pads to bats I was lucky enough to score Sox tickets in a work raffle last week, so the Man and I are headed to Fenway tomorrow night to see the game. We're playing Tampa Bay, so we should win. Currently we're 5 1/2 games ahead of the Yankees - with both teams playing today. There's roughly 20 games left in the season, with the Cranks coming to Fenway next week. It's always a blast to go to Fenway, so I'm psyched for the game.

 

Congrats to the Pats for their dominating performance today!~!

 

Six months ago at this time, 9AM, the Man and I were headed out to breakfast with family. It was a gorgeous sunny day in St. Thomas - perfect for a wedding.

 

We were married about 3:45-ish. Give or take.

 

Last month was our five year anniversary of meeting face to face for the first time. We hooked up online in June of that year - but our first date occured in August 2002. I don't remember the exact day. We went away for a week about a month after that first dinner. We moved in together in April 2003, got engaged May 2006.

 

We have a million things in common, our online profiles (full of multiple choice questions about life) matched each other 95%, which is undeniably high. We like to toss that fact out there.

 

Our life is cozy and warm and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

I love us.

 

That's 'ketchup' as in the bad joke from Uma in Pulp Fiction. Not the tomato-based condiment.

 

You with me?

 

Here's what's new with NJaney (to 'catch' you up...):

 

- the Man is 41, he went to the dr. last week and was served a spoonful of 'time to start practicing a healthier lifestyle'. The Man scheduled an appt. three weeks from now and is using these three weeks to hit a goal on the scale. I'm a good ten-ish pounds heavier than I was the day we met, and a lot less toned, so I am joining him for these three weeks to see how low on the scale I can go. This morning I weighed 129, I'm looking for a toned 120. We worked out twice this weekend, mostly cardio with some lifting. We also had some very good and good-for-you meals. We're both excited to make this a permanent change.

 

- I did NOT win the lottery last Friday, but I am happy that four people hit instead of one. I've shelved the yacht plans for the moment.

 

- we saw two movies this weekend; Halloween which was pretty much what you would expect - young hot girls screaming, and BUCKETS of blood...and Superbad - which was hysterical. Very 'American Pie' but funny in it's own way.

 

- the countdown for our return to St. Thomas is three months.

 

- Last Friday I went to my friend's house to see her six day old baby girl, who is adorable. I held her and cooed over her, and indulged in the peace that is a newborn. I also played with her one year old son, who is a cutie, and was giving me hug after hug. It doesn't escape anyone around me that I'm 33, and married, and I'm used to hearing 'Any kids for you? Do you want them? Oh, you'll want one' but I can honestly say...no, I am not craving my own spawn. I know they say the clock starts ticking and all, but if that were the case I'm pretty sure I would have felt my uterus shift with some sort of 'let's grow one!' twitch when I picked up the little peanut, but that did not happen.

 

- when I clean the bathtub I usually do it right before I take a shower, so I clean it in my birthday suit. Armed with the soft scrub and an old towel I got into the tub and started scrubbing away this past Saturday. In my crouched position I finished scrubbing the faucet and turned around to work on the sides of the tub. As I finished I went to stand up and immediately felt pain on my rear. I failed to notice that I was crouched with my butt right underneath the faucet, and as I stood my butt slammed against the faucet and holyshit did it hurt. I rinsed away all the bleach, took my shower and when I got out I inspected the damage. There was a big red cherry spot on my butt where I hit it, right above the split God gave me. After I dressed I had the Man apply a bandage because yes, I drew blood, and now I sit and wait. Considering I would bruise if you flicked a dime at my thigh the bruise that takes over this cherry spot is going to be a beaut.

 

- I was spitting fire last week when the Blow Sox dropped three in a row to the Yankees, only to come home and drop a fourth to Baltimore. However they redeemed themselves BIG time when our rookie pitcher, in his SECOND major league start, threw a no-hitter on Sat. night. A no-fucking-hitter!! As a rookie!! It was exhilarating to watch, and talk about tension - I don't know how he did it, but it was AMAZING. There are many veteran pitchers who can only dream of doing what this kid did. And yes, it has to be said, it's a team effort as there were a few awesome defensive plays made that game to keep the no-hitter alive. Wicked stuff.

 

- speaking of sports...ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL  I'm !PUMPED!, as is my Indy to St. Louis friend. It all starts Thursday night, 8:30...with New Orleans visiting the Colts. Big hugs to you Marcie, you know I love ya...but GO SAINTS!!!!!!

 

Enjoy the short week!